


Infinity War... But like not as horrible

by Earthsbestdefender



Series: My happy place [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Fun, LANGUAGE!!!, NO DEATH, Screw cannon, Screw marvel, The way things should have been, mostly happy, some hurt, some sad, tony the father of many children
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-18
Packaged: 2019-08-25 14:32:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 396
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16662671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Earthsbestdefender/pseuds/Earthsbestdefender
Summary: Some idiot did the heimlich maneuver on Thanos while he was choking on the prune so he didn't die.Or: Short stories based on Infinity War text postsOr: Infinity War but with very minor hurt, and much more fun stuff/ fluffOr: Infinity war but not shittyOr: The many violent ways in which Thanos is killedOr: The revenge side of the happy place





	Infinity War... But like not as horrible

**Author's Note:**

> I will try desperately to make this good and pure. Also I will not add to much to this one very often. Just when I happen across a good idea. These will not be in any form of chronological order.

Mr. Stark spluttered and fell back helplessly; his own sword stabbed through him. Thanos smiled, as Peter's mentor gasped in pain.

Peter wanted to swear, but he remembered what Mr. Stark had told him only a few weeks ago in the lab.

 

_"Kid, swearing is a very bad habit to get into," Mr. Stark lectured. "You are only aloud to swear on special occasions..."_

_"Like when?" Peter interrupted innocently._

_"The only time you are aloud to swear is when you are working on an experiment and it explodes. Other then that I don't want you swearing. I don't want you growing up to have my dirty mouth," Mr. Stark explained. Peter nodded his head vigorously. He did not want to disappoint Mr. Stark._

 

Peter was so angry.

"I just hope they remember you," Thanos finished his monolog and the infinity stones began glow.  _He WaS GOInG To MUrdEr HIs MeNToR!!!_ Peter was not okay with this!

"Hold on!" Peter shouted, and Thanos stopped. Peter pulled his backpack off, and unzipped it. He angrily pulled out two bottles of chemicals huffing all the while. He poured them together. Peter held up a finger. "One more second..."

The chemicals exploded, and so did the words from Peter's mouth.

"WHAT THE FUCKITTY FUCK YOU FUCKING PURPLE ASS GRAPE BITCH!!! THATS MY DAD YOU FUCKING UGLY ASS GRAPE CHINNED FUCKER!!!" Peter shouted on the top of his lungs.

Mr. Stark and Thanos stared at him in shock. Peter didn't waste a second leaping violently at Thanos's head. Peter pumled the grape man mercilessly, until he finally fell over. Peter ripped the gauntlet off Thanos's hand. He picked up the ugly purple giant, and yeeted him. Thanos disappeared over the horizon. Peter nodded in satisfaction, and then ran to his mentor's side.

"Kid? What the actual fuck?" Mr. Stark mumbled. His eyes barely focusing.

"I blew up an experiment so I could swear, and then I yeeted Thanos away, and got the gauntlet," Peter explained and wrapped his arms protectively around his mentor's shoulders. Mr. Stark chuckled a little, and then passed out. 

It was Peter who carried Mr. Stark onto the Guardians' ship.

It was Peter who carried him off the ship once they landed in Wakanda.

It was Peter who brought his bleeding half dead father to Shuri.

It was Shuri who healed and saved her future adoptive father.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! and please go visit the other story in this series!  
> Questions? Comments? Concerns? Writing ideas?


End file.
